So you have a man in your life or a woman for that matter and slowly but surely the romance seems to be gone. With kids, work, stress, bills, housework the reasons are fairly obvious. The bad news is up to 50% of marriages end in divorce. The good news is that it isn't inevitable. So what do you do to bring back those feelings of desire and enjoyment?
If you spend a little time thinking about how you acted in the beginning of a relationship, you can get it all and more back. What special things did you do back then that you or your partner are not doing now? If it worked once, it will work again. Here are a couple of reminders.
1. Spend time doing fun things. Go out to breakfast, lunch or dinner and go somewhere new. Don't fall into the rut of going out on Saturday night to the same old restaurant. There are new joints, bars, watering holes and you need to go to them. Sounds simplistic. Well, it is and isn't that what you used to do when you first met? Didn't you go out for fun? To the movies, a new bar, a fall festival, a concert or what ever was going on that allowed you to spend time alone together.
2. Take care of how you look as though it matters, as it really does. Remember when you first went out with that special someone? How much time did you put into your appearance, clothing, hair, makeup? Did you buy something new, or ask your roommates or parents how you looked. Perhaps because you cared about how you looked.
3. Plan a date night by asking your mate for a date. Don't violated it, don't delay it. Plan it like you mean it. Make your mate feel special and don't let anything get in your way. Wherever you live there is likely something going on that will be fun, and not sitting on the couch watching television together or just being home with the kids. Dress up a bit, make it a special occasion and make it a regular occurrence. Sound familiar.
4. By now you realize there is no magic but making each other feel good about themselves may rekindle some welcome feelings. So go shopping together. No, not to Wal-Mart but to buy a top, dress, shoes or something special and take your mate along and make it special. How about going
lingerie shopping at a local sex store or lingerie boutique. Buy something if you want or just window shop. Make it an enjoyable event. The purpose is not to make the retailers jump for joy but to hold hands, talk about what you like or don't like. Share something about yourself in as relaxed environment as possible. Try some things on and let him take a peek in the dressing room. Walk out in the dressing area and show off your new outfit. Be a bit of an exhibitionist! Be naughty! Give him a kiss in the dressing room. Play a little kissy face, pinchy boobs. Act like you desire each other, it is contagious.
5. Plan a groupon or living social getaway! Save money, go on the cheap but get away to a spa, hotel or resort in your city or an adjacent resort that doesn't take too long to reach. Take some wine, champagne, snacks and no sleepwear. Force yourselves to make love to each other. No, not by force but because you planned to be naked together. Better yet go shopping in the city you are visiting and buy some sexy lingerie.
6. Get into some fantasies by
role playing in bed and beyond. Many couples utilize fantasy to get some voltage into their sex lives and so can you. Where do you begin? Well, try searching the web for adult stories and seek out some topics that capture your imaginations. Perhaps you have fantasized about wife swapping, orgies, husband with another woman or man or wife with another man or woman. The sky is the limit so explore your limits. The more you venture towards the edge, the greater the reward you will receive. Remember this is just a fantasy and never has to actually take place. Get closer to your mate by exploring their fantasies. Don't accept the "I don't have any fantasies" response either.
7. Plan a very sexy evening at a local hotel with all the trimmings. Buy some sexy panties, even crotchless and perhaps some open bust lingerie. Bring alone a little lubricant, both the personal kind as well as liquor. Supply some music and don't turn on the television unless it is to catch one of those adult movies on the pay per view. Take a bath or shower together and enjoy being a man and a woman in love. No kids, no phone calls, no phones and plan to sleep late.
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